Okay, so we put Carver into a preschool program, not to work on academics so much, though it is nice to have them fill in some gaps, but to help him socialize. Carver is just not socially motivated. As a parent, I know how important friends are, but he doesn't seem to. I guess that generally he hasn't found anyone that is worth the effort. Until now. In school this year, he met a girl named Juli who is about 6 months younger than him. The important thing is that she apparently thinks Carver is very funny. Many of the kids get confused when Carver starts talking about his numbers or whatever, but Juli "laughs and laughs." Carver is very excited about this. He refers to Juli as his best friend.
He has also developed an arch-enemy: George. George is not always very nice to Carver and sometimes hits him when the teachers aren't looking. Then Carver gets in trouble for not playing nicely. I have explained to Carver that, while I expect him to be friendly with all the kids, he does not need to be friends with all of them. Here is the problem though. On our way home from school yesterday, he explained to me in a sad voice that he is no longer friends with Juli. Apparently, George has decided to be friends with her and Carver refuses to "put in the effort" to be her friend if she will be friends with George. He sounded so broken-hearted.
I had no idea that this started so early and I'm not prepared. How do I make it easy for him? How do I guide him when making friends didn't come easy to me as a child and I still have to put a lot of effort into it even as an adult? I'm glad that school was canceled today so that we can have a weekend to rethink things.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm sure there is a good parenting strategy for this, but as a non-parent I'm not sure what to suggest. Do you think Carver would understand if you explain that dispite his misgivings it will be worth putting in the effort to be her friend, in the long run? I've never really tried to make friends either, just been myself and tried to get along with others. I had a couple of arch-enemies when I was younger, but I'm even on pretty good terms with them at this point. Maybe the importance of friendship is something that has to be learned by each child/adult on their own?
ReplyDelete